First of all, we listen. We want to be absolutely sure we understand you, your business and your needs. We will ask questions. Lots of questions. We will write things down. Lots of things. We will nod sagely. We will eat biscuits and drink coffee. We will agree a price and a deadline.

We will go away. Secret, arcane copywriter things will happen out of your earshot (for which you should be eternally grateful). Then, miraculously, a first draft will appear. It may be covered in biscuit crumbs.

We will give you time to read it and have a bit of a think. Of course, we want to be on the money first time. If we are, fantastic.That's it - you marvel at our genius and start dreaming about that small private island you want to buy for your retirement.
But, let's be honest, it's a first draft. We will make whatever changes you want.

You then get the final draft, marvel again at our genius, and hand over a small and perfectly reasonable pile of used banknotes for our services. Then you can think about upgrading your island dreams to somewhere a little larger. Australia, perhaps.

On the off-chance what we've done still doesn't meet your brief (it's theoretically possible - like time travel), we both walk away from the deal and you pay nothing.

Of course we can. But only if you offer biscuits.

Seriously - we don't have to. We'd love to meet you, but we know you're busy. You have enough on your plate running your business without feeling the need to entertain us for half a day.

Chances are we can do everything all by email or telephone. It's one of the joys of working in the 21st century. And it will do wonders for your green credentials, not to mention saving you a fortune in Kenco and Hob Nobs.

Sadly, even we cannot break the laws of physics.

It all depends on what you need and how busy we are. We can probably turn around a straightforward job inside a week. Larger projects will take longer - or require unlocking the secrets of time travel. Which, ironically, will take more time.

Absolutely not. We can and will adopt an appropriate tone for your business. We find this one best suits us and our needs, but we understand it probably isn't suitable for everyone - an undertaker, for example.